Mirrors Surrounding Us

The world is a mirror for each and every one of us. If we are brave enough to really look – not only at the light we see, but also the shadows – then and only then can we grow as individuals and, ultimately, as a society.

The country is divided, but inside each of us we are also divided. Until we are willing to look at the divisiveness within and heal ourselves, we will continue to see the divisiveness in the world around us.

This morning, as the political pendulum starts to swing back again, there is much casting of blame and anger against probably the most discriminated against group in our country right now – white, heterosexual males. So when I see that in my Facebook feed, I look at who said it and then wonder what part of them feels held back and discriminated against. What situation in their soul is suppressed? What part of them is crying to come to the light?

I grew up in a very white community out west, but that didn’t matter. I was raised to see people and each one can choose to grow or stagnate, love or hate. Saying it’s a group is a cop out. Do you see color, ethnicity, or gender or do you see people? I choose to see people.

Anger is not bad unto itself as it points the way (if you pay attention) to something that needs adjusting. But to hang onto it for a movement is not helpful. This is one reason that while I believe in strong, independent women, I choose not to identify with the feminist movement. It’s got a lot right, but too much anger.

There are many things reflected back to me in the mirror that’s my life that I’d rather not deal with, let alone lean into and embrace. But I know that growth and wholeness are there on the other side, so I do the hard work. I let the disconnect, anger, frustration and sadness in and let it teach me what I need to do next to become stronger and more kind. Same with joy, peace and gratitude. I look in that mirror at all of it.

I was blessed to have examples of strength in my ancestors – both men and women – who knew how to let others be who they needed to be so they could both thrive. And there were those who chose to hang onto anger – that let me see how that choice worked against them. I choose to learn from them all.

So when you find yourself frustrated and angry (which was where I was yesterday – completely unrelated to the election), you can choose to hang onto that anger or you can use it to find out what pain that touches and embrace it to find the next step on your path.

And when you’re criticized, know that it’s not about you. Those who nit-pick on accuracy very well might be struggling with perfectionism. Those who tell you that you aren’t good enough may think they are not good enough. Those that push away the love surrounding them may be wrestling with feeling worthy of love. Those who say (in some fashion), “Who does she think she is?” may feel guilty about not living up to their own glorious potential. It’s not about you and never has been.

As for the election, I’m in the camp of ‘try again’ – so the best thing I can do is to not try to predict the future (glorious or doom-and-gloom), but instead work more on my own growth and help my family, friends and neighbors do the same. It didn’t matter to me who won or lost, because what really matters is the potential of all of us – which, in my opinion, looks amazingly good.

Remember, strong individuals make strong couples who make strong families that make strong societies.

It starts with each of us.

The world is our mirror – be brave enough to look.